Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I have finally beaten the elaborate uploading process on myspace and managed to post the shiny new Theatre of Noise Podcast. It was recorded in a dungeon at a secret location somewhere in Manchester City Centre and is a small flavour of the Theatre of Noise shows that will terrorise South Manchester on Refresh FM at Easter. It is a bit raw and due to copyright reasons music-less, but hopefully quite entertaining.
It contains a myriad of delights* including perennial TON favourite, the Chainsaw Challenge, an exclusive interview with Jade Goody** and a shiny new game called Feel My Sack. During said game, Dan used his new fangled image recording device/phone to film the game in progress, Eyan then used a wondrous confabulator to upload it to Youtube...
Listen with your ears here: myspace.com/thequiteearlyshow
Watch with your eyes here: Feel My Sack Vid
Smell with your nose here: Erm...
Do have a listen, although I had to reduce the quality to post it on evil myspace. A Quite Early Show podcast was recorded too and will follow when I have regained the will to live.
Below is the stirring sight of the Chris Bowater CD destroyed in the Chainsaw Challenge. It was literally on fire due to the ferocity with which Fil angle-ground it.
('Angle-ground' is a new word I invented to describe the process of using an angle grinder in the past tense)
* No actual delights promised
** No real Jade Goody promised
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
|Purgatory (Repenting Believers)||Very High|
|Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)||High|
|Level 2 (Lustful)||Low|
|Level 3 (Gluttonous)||Low|
|Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)||Very Low|
|Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)||Very Low|
|Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)||Very Low|
|Level 7 (Violent)||Low|
|Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)||Moderate|
|Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)||Very Low|
Take the test here
Apparently I am well on my way to being safely in Purgatory on my death according to Dante's Inferno. I'm not sure if that means I should be happy or whether I should cut loose and have a little more fun to raise my other levels!
Right, I haven't done any movies for a bit so quite a few:
Galaxy Quest ****
Robin Hood:Prince of Thieves **** (Surprisingly good fun!)
John Carpenters Vampires *
Shaolin Soccer ****
Back to the Future *****
Rocky 6 ***
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen *
Some words about the last film I think. LXG (as it is also known) is a dreadful film. But it really shouldn't have been. It draws on great source material, Alan Moore's graphic novel series. It has a great idea at its centre; transposing characters from literature like Allan Quatermain, Mina Harker, Jekyll & Hyde, the immortal Dorian Gray, Captain Nemo & Professor Moriarty to an alternative Victorian world. It's got some great actors, a large budget and the director who made the first Blade movie so enjoyable.
However, it falls down on so many levels. Firstly, the studio decided that it was too Brit-centric and added their own US literature hero Tom Sawyer as a Victorian US secret service agent. For goodness sake, Tom Sawyer! Bloody awful. Then the special effects are really, really sloppy, the dialogue is hilariously bad, the plot is muddled and probably worst of all, the film treats us like idiots and assumes that we know nothing about these great literary characters.
However, it does have a wonderful quote from Stuart Townsend as the invulnerable Dorian Gray (who was also absent from the original graphic novel). On being shot a multitude of times by a level one grunt he opens his shirt to show the doomed evil lackey the bullet holes healing. The guy asks "What are you?" To which the laconic reply is "I'm complicated". Easily the best bit of the film...
Saturday, January 20, 2007
As well as nightly highlight programmes on Channel 4, a constant 24 hour feed live from both the lion and victim compounds will be broadcast. 'Chew, Kitty, Chew' will explore both sides of the coin, with in-depth interviews with our star lions, asking them what it feels like to taste human flesh and giving them an opportunity to share in this clash of cultures. There will also be a range of exciting extra nightly programmes to deepen the 'Chew' experience:
Big Kitty's Big Teeth with Russell Brand. We are delighted to have Russell on board discussing the finer points of dismemberment with a invited panel of lion experts and superfluous/irrelevant celebrity guests in his own inimitable style. Russell's agent tells us that he is very much looking forward to bringing his annoyingly faux-fop comedy stylings to this late night show.
Big Kitty's Little Cub with Dermot Murnaghan. Sadly Dermot O'Leary was unable to join the 'Chew' team due to an early production meeting accident involving 5 wolverines and a pound of sausages. However, we are pleased to announce Dermot Murnaghan as the host of our early evening 'sideways' look at events in the compounds. Dermot will be joined by a marginally better class of celebrity who will be along for all the fun and a few surprises no doubt!
Finally, hosting the main event will be Davina McCall who unfortunately tied us in to a contract that enables her to have first refusal on presenting any of our programmes. However, we have have tied her into a contract that requires her to be heavily pregnant during the show's run.
If you want to take part in 'Chew, Kitty, Chew', open auditions will be taking place in Manchester, London, Birmingham and Glasgow in March. Please bring with you an audition tape of you being lightly mauled by an animal of your choice. Please also bring a copy of your will and proof of your feared minority status. Dangerously unstable people will also be considered...
Endemol, making cutting edge TV with BITE!"
*Not actual press release
Thursday, January 18, 2007
We had a very inspiring guest lecturer on our PGCE course today.
Well done to Sarah who was the only one brave enough to post her answers!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
The answers for the picture round in Quiztastic Vol 1 are buried in the comments!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
You are mild-mannered, good,strong and you love to help others.
Iron Man 55%
Green Lantern 45%
The Flash 35%
Wonder Woman 15%
Dr. Doom 50%
Mr. Freeze 42%
Lex Luthor 33%
Dark Phoenix 33%
The Joker 29%
Green Goblin 20%
Poison Ivy 15%
Monday, January 08, 2007
Friday, January 05, 2007
A bumper crop of movies from this Christmastide (um - is that a word?). As usual, TV was unutterably dreadful over the Christmas period (Vicar of Dibley anyone?) and only the presence of some cracking films enlivened it in any way.
Lawrence of Arabia *****
The Da Vinci Code *
My goodness, it is so unbelievably bad it makes the dire source material seem like a masterpiece !
The 39 Steps ****
Van Helsing ***
Pirates of the Carribean ***
Blade Runner Directors Cut *****
The Birds *****
The Usual Suspects ****
Kind Hearts and Coronets *****
Batman Begins *****
United 93 *****
Even though 2007 is shaping up to be the year of the sequel; some of which look like being good (Spiderman 3, the Bourne Ultimatum), some of which look like being OK (Harry Potter 5, Die Hard 4) and most of which look completely superfluous (Pirates of the Caribbean 3, Rocky 6, Shrek 3, Oceans 13, Evan Almighty, Resident Evil:Extinction) or awful (Rush Hour 3, Fantastic 4 (um) 2, National Treasure 2, Saw 4).
So to help you fight your way through the overwhelming fog of sequels I have selected a few movies that should be well worth checking out this coming year:
300 (March 2007)
A highly stylised film about the battle of Thermopylae where 300 Spartans held the entire Persian army in 480BC. Check the trailer out, its a bit shouty but it looks incredible.
Hot Fuzz (Feb 2007)
A hollywood style police action flick. Set in rural England. With Nick Frost & Simon Pegg. What, you need more convincing? Check the trailer here
Tales of Earthsea (Jun 2007)
From the the same stable as Spirited Away, a Miyazaki anime adaptation of Ursula K Le Guin's classic fantasy novels. If the film is as good as its artwork, it will be wonderful.
The Simpsons Movie (Jul 2007)
Enough said - watch the brilliant trailer here
Also watch out for Transformers (!), The Fountain, Sunshine, 28 Weeks Later, Zodiac, Curse of the Broken Flower