Cynicism

I have been very disturbed recently by my seemingly unstoppable slide into cynicism. I'm not sure when it started getting appreciably worse. I've always felt that I had merely a healthy dose of the old C-Y-N, but I now recognise that I'm actually riddled with the stuff.

In some ways, this is no bad thing. A cynic can glean much greater enjoyment from the acid words of the likes of the refreshing grouchy Charlie Brooker (read this) than the sunny optimists amongst us. A cynic is also much less likely to fall for the scams that the hapless victims on the Real Hustle seem powerless to avoid. This is because we know beyond the shadow of a doubt that if something sounds too good to be true, it always is.

Let me give you examples of my newly increased cynicism:

1) The appointment of Sarah Palin as John McCain's running mate for the US presidential elections. Which is not in anyway an attempt to make people who would have voted for Hillary Clinton switch to the Republicans. A closer look at National Rifle Association member Palin reveals her to be so right-wing that she probably flagellates her own left side for not being hardline enough. This is a woman who supports gun education in school while opposing sexual health education. A woman who tried to sue the attempts to list Polar bears as an endangered species because it might affect Alaskan oil drilling. A woman who thinks that capital punishment and carrying guns is ok, but same-sex marriage is evil. Here's a gratuitous picture of her on a moose hunt.

I don't know what's worse, the thought that the Republicans have tried to pick up the 'Hillary' vote with Palin or that it might actually work with some moron who will fall for the 'I'm just a small-town hockey mom - just like you....' schtick.

2) My first thought when Labour announced its decision to scrap stamp duty on properties under £175,000 for 12 months, was not 'Ooo, what a boost to a flagging market'. Rather it was hollow laughter at such a blatant attempt to bribe voters into believing Gordon Brown isn't a useless lump of playdough as Prime Minster.

This overwhelming cynicism is seeping gradually into all aspects of my life in an alarming way. Luckily, there are a few things halting my headlong rush into complete bitterness.

One of these is my discovery of the marvelous Band Marino. I recently obtained their gorgeous album The Sea & The Beast which is a wonderfully whimsical concoction of quirky, clever indie tunes flavoured with a hint of folkiness. Enjoy this performance of the nattily named Every Time I Make a Girl Cry I Know I've Done My Job.

Biggest Movies of 2007

Permit me to blow my own trumpet for a moment.

Paaaaaarrrrrpppppp *

Thank you.

Now, I have excellent taste in movies, so I'd like to run through the top ten grossing movies of 2007 with you. As usual I will give a star rating for each one, do let me know if you disagree...

1. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (£49,420,484) ****
Possibly the best of the Potter movies so far with the acting of the young leads improving, a much darker tone and a spectacular duelling sequence between the Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters.
2. Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (£42,237,960) **
Flabby dross with very few redeeming qualities at all.
3. Shrek the Third (£38,620,659) **
Forgetting everything that made the first two Shrek movies watchable.
4. The Simpsons Movie (£38,544,114) ***
Some very funny gags - sadly not the masterpiece we were all hoping for.
5. Spider-Man 3 (£33,547,946) *
Indescribably awful in just about every way
6. Ratatouille (£24,716,887) ****
Pixar strikes gold one more time. The dud that was Cars fades away...
7. The Bourne Ultimatum (£23,703,150) *****
Best action film for ages - The setpieces in Waterloo station and over the rooftops and houses on Tangiers were nothing short of breathtaking.
8. Transformers (£22,863,864) ***
Big and very dumb fun
9. Mr Bean's Holiday (£22,142,332) *
Don't even go there......
10. Hot Fuzz (£21,005,064) *****
My film of the year. Hands down

It depresses me greatly that most of the films on that list are either crushingly predictable or utterly dreadful. There were some superb films released this year that were totally ignored by people scurrying to see the latest Shrek film. And in what sane world does the funniest film of the year come one place behind the inexplicably popular Mr Bean's Holiday? Where does that get fun?

I think I can see the problem. People like to go for things that are familiar (I am the same), and frankly, the cost of the cinema is so extortionate that people aren't that willing to take risks on movies anymore. It means that magnificent oddities like Daywatch for example, are shown in cinemas for one or two weeks at best. While tripe like Mr Bean or Pirates are shown for months on end. This leaves no room for word of mouth growth. By the time I have seen a really good movie and let people know about it, its already out of the cinemas.



I just wish that cinema chains would charge less for the offbeat or arty films. They can continue charging outrageous sums for the big blockbusters, people will still lap them up regardless (and I count myself in that number). However, if I could go and see something quirky and off the beaten track for a few quid instead of paying on the unpleasant side of £6, I'd be in the cinema much more often, which surely only benefits the business side of things.

* I know trumpets don't make this noise. I am open to suggestions at how I should represent the sound of a trumpet in text form.