As well as nightly highlight programmes on Channel 4, a constant 24 hour feed live from both the lion and victim compounds will be broadcast. 'Chew, Kitty, Chew' will explore both sides of the coin, with in-depth interviews with our star lions, asking them what it feels like to taste human flesh and giving them an opportunity to share in this clash of cultures. There will also be a range of exciting extra nightly programmes to deepen the 'Chew' experience:
Big Kitty's Big Teeth with Russell Brand. We are delighted to have Russell on board discussing the finer points of dismemberment with a invited panel of lion experts and superfluous/irrelevant celebrity guests in his own inimitable style. Russell's agent tells us that he is very much looking forward to bringing his annoyingly faux-fop comedy stylings to this late night show.
Big Kitty's Little Cub with Dermot Murnaghan. Sadly Dermot O'Leary was unable to join the 'Chew' team due to an early production meeting accident involving 5 wolverines and a pound of sausages. However, we are pleased to announce Dermot Murnaghan as the host of our early evening 'sideways' look at events in the compounds. Dermot will be joined by a marginally better class of celebrity who will be along for all the fun and a few surprises no doubt!
Finally, hosting the main event will be Davina McCall who unfortunately tied us in to a contract that enables her to have first refusal on presenting any of our programmes. However, we have have tied her into a contract that requires her to be heavily pregnant during the show's run.
If you want to take part in 'Chew, Kitty, Chew', open auditions will be taking place in Manchester, London, Birmingham and Glasgow in March. Please bring with you an audition tape of you being lightly mauled by an animal of your choice. Please also bring a copy of your will and proof of your feared minority status. Dangerously unstable people will also be considered...
Endemol, making cutting edge TV with BITE!"
*Not actual press release