Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Arrrrgghhhh - What the HELL is that? And how do I kill it?

Now that I am gainfully employed for September, I am now free to concentrate on the more important things in life, like playing computer games for lengthy spans of time.

Accordingly, I have been playing the Wii edition of Resident Evil 4 for the last few days. RE4 on the Wii is a marvellous thing; the controls are the most intuitive of any of the Resident Evil games, its beautifully atmospheric, immersive and the monsters are great.

Ahhh, the monsters....

You see, my problem with games like this (and I've loved the Resident Evil games since I played one of the early ones on the PS1) is that I'm not very good at them. I have the unfortunate tendency to get rather nervous and jump out of my skin when the latest monstrosity bursts out of a door/through a window/floor/ceiling and proceeds to tear me to pieces.

So instead of keeping calm and going for the all important head shot at the Zombie/Hunter/ Ganados/Tyrant currently eviscerating me, I panic and spray bullets anywhere but where I should be while repeating the familiar litany of "crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap - come on, COME ON, COME ON! (disgusting squelching/tearing sound) BOLLOCKS - I'm dead...."

My current least favourite RE4 beastie is the delightful Regenerator.

These lovely creatures regenerate themselves as you shoot them, they look creepy and their harsh groaning breathing is very disconcerting when you start to hear it. I spent an unhappy hour trying to work out how to kill them (an hour I might add where I died 45 times and repeated a similar litany to that above every single time). I finally discovered that an elaborate combination of running, flash grenades, shotgun and using an infrared scope on my rifle to identify up to 5 otherwise invisible parasites inside its body was what was required. Here is a delightful video of a Regenerator in action. You can shoot it till the cows come home, but it can still do extremely unpleasant things to you. Blerrrrrghh..... (warning - its a bit gruesome)



I know what some of you may be thinking: What is a 30 year old man doing playing games and even worse, blogging about it? Well, its a good question. All I will say is, it beats doing DIY hands down....

6 comments:

Fat Roland said...

I tried doing DIY hands down once and my shelves collapsed.

Thank you, I'm here all night.

Nat said...

I didn't expect that clip to be so funny. It's like the zombie super-glues itself to the player.

9/10ths Full of Penguins said...

Eyan: Your wit, is as ever, sharp as tacks.... (see what I did there? tacks - DIY? tacks - DI....um)

Nat: See what zombie you are missing out on!

Sarah said...

I played Tomb Raider 2 or 3 with a friend at uni and was scared every time wolves jumped out at me. I am certainly too wussy for resident evil or any sort! But I'm a World of Warcraft player, which keeps me busy enough!

9/10ths Full of Penguins said...

I have never played warcraft. I feel I'm missing out on something...

I always found the camera angles on Tomb Raider games really frustrating.

Anonymous said...

LOL, if you read Luis's note, you would have found that you need an infrared scope on your rifle to shoot the parasites. But those spiky ones were a pain, and I ended up using grenades and the mine thrower too.