Wednesday, September 26, 2007

From the sublime to the completely ridiculous...

In my last post I remembered fondly the impact of people like Joy Division, Tony Wilson and Factory Records on modern Manchester. So from the sublime melodies of Love Will Tear Us Apart we approach the ridiculous as reported in today's Manchester Evening News.

It would appear that Big Brother contestants and identically annoying Manchester twins Sam & Amanda Marchant are releasing a pop single. That in itself is not a surprise, many pathetically short and usually crap pop careers have been spawned by the inexplicable phenomenon that is Big Brother. No, the truly hideous element of this story is that some moron at Sony actively sought out this monumentally irriating duo to cover...... Barbie Girl by Aqua* (give me strength....).

One or other of them was quoted as saying (in a no doubt giggly high-pitched way)
"There were all these agents there, saying Sony want you to release Barbie Girl, and we were like 'wow' cos it's our favourite song, it's dead girlie."

Okaaaaayyyy. Although, before I move on, here is another quote from the dynamic duo on their 'brand' Samanda.

"We don't want to be individuals, we want to be one"

Okaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy. Read the full story here.

Also in today's MEN. an interesting little article tucked away on the inner pages. According to a poll by ettiquette experts Debrett's, 63% of British women voted manners the most important factor in their choice of a partner. Meanwhile, 29% were swayed by intelligence with a mere 5% saying good looks were the deciding factor. Right, so we infer from this that most women prefer intelligent, well mannered men rather than rude, handsome ones.....

Now, I am both exceedingly well-mannered and reasonably intelligent. But ask me how many dates I have been on in the last year. Go on - ask me.

The answer is none.

This of course, may have something to do with:
A) my beer belly,
B) the fact I have a face like a bearded egg
C) a combination of A & B

I'm not saying this to elicit sympathy in any way, just to point out the futility of this type of poll. I put it to you that what we can learn from this poll is that 5% of women are brave enough to tell the truth to a complete stranger in the street brandishing a clipboard at them.

A polite intelligent man yesterday

*Anyway, as any connoisseur of comedy covers knows, the best Barbie Girl cover is by classic neo-punkers (I'm so sorry for using that phrase) MXPX. Listen to it here.

While we're talking about bands, check out this oh-so-indie video by Starflyer 59. Its for a track called I Win off their My Island album. Marvellously, the band featured in the video are not Starflyer 59 and their legendary frontman Jason Martin doesn't appear in it at all. Watch it here.


Fat Roland said...

Hold on... (1) Debrett's make a living out of selling etiquette books. (2) They rely on a public perception that we are not polite enough in order to sell those books. (3) Polls influence that public perception. (4) In a Freakonomics-style conclusion, I would take their poll with a pinch of salt, but not too much lest your face scrunch up into an appalling wrinkled gurn.

I have just taken a poll with my neighbours and the results were as follows:
Q: How do you like your eggs?
(a1) Sunny side up 3%
(a2) Fried 24.5%
(a3) Boiled 17.4%
(a4) Poached 8.8&
(a5) Bearded 416.0%

Valerie said...

That cover is, indeed, fabulous. Almost like it as much as Lords of the New Church's cover of Like a Virgin...

Tim Footman said...

73% of women prefer a bearded egg to an eggy beard.

btw, surely it's better those twins record Barbie Girl than, say Love Will Tear Us Apart...

9/10ths Full of Penguins said...

Fats: Now, I'm straining my maths GCSE here - but I think all those percentages add up to more than 100%....

Valerie: It is rather marvellous - I've never heard the New Church one, I will seek that out.

Tim: I'm getting the feeling that people are just making up statistics now...
(And, my God, yes - how dreadful would that be?)

Sarah said...

One stat on its own adds up to more than 100%.

I read in the Metro (source of all knowledge) today that women are attracted to bad men (presumably rude but attractive) but don't fall in love with them.

I think the poll reflects the type of person the answerers want to be rather than the person they actually are. That's one of the main problems with questionnaires - there's no guarantee of people even knowing the true answer.

Sarah said...

And then you get into the murky realms of asking whether we can know truth, or if there even is one...