Review of the The Expendables (Sylvester Stallone 2010)
I have always had a soft spot for 80/90's action movies. Cliffhanger, Total Recall, Die Hard and Predator are classics of the genre. They haven't aged well seeming overblown and surprisingly over-violent even to our jaded modern palate. But just when you thought the days of Timecop and Cobra were gone, Sly Stallone gave us something that no-one asked for: 2010's third elite-team-of-super-soliders movie.
It's worse than you can possibly imagine. The script is appalling, the action sequences are badly choreographed bloodthirsty nonsense and the performances from the unnervingly teak-muscled old geezers would shame a plank of 2x4 . Witness this sparkling interplay:
Arnie: “Whhyyyyy doooooon't weeee haaaave dinner”
Sly: “Sure, when?”
Arnie “Innn a thowwwwssannnnd years”
Sly: “Too soon”
I really wanted to like this film, but the wit and fun of the A-Team movie easily overshadowed the wheezing efforts of Sly, Dolph & co.