Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Short Review of Resident Evil: Afterlife

Review of Resident Evil Afterlife 2D

(Or Stretching Thin Concept to Silliness)

This film is the first I’ve watched in Sparkling High Definition™

The film starts with weary protagonist Alice (played with exquisite boredom by Milla Jovovich) breaking into the bad guy’s zombie-free lair. She kicks ass – then dies. But it’s OK, she’s actually lots of clones – who kick ass and then die.

When all the clones are dead she stows away on Evil Mastermind’s planeycopter (stunning in Sparkling High Definition™). While she makes a Stallonesque quip, Mastermind injects her with something that makes her turn human (keep up). They then crash in Sparkling High Definition™ into a mountain.

Despite being human now (?) Alice inexplicably survives this inferno looking lightly singed.

Alice then flies around in Sparkling High Definition™, lands on top of a prison, fights zombies in the prison then visits Mastermind’s seagoing lair. She kicks ass, Mastermind escapes in planeycopter, then he dies.

Rating:  **

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