Sunday, January 11, 2009

What the.....

Having commented on the paucity of quality TV in my previous post. I wasn't planning to talk about TV again for a little while. Praise be then for Paris Hilton, who has made me seethe with righteous fury.

This pathetic excuse for a celebrity has a new programme that will be disgracing our screens shortly. It is called (brace yourself) Paris Hilton's British Best Friend. For the sake of all that is holy - how did this vile idea ever get the green light?

Here is a quote from the idiot in question.
“Everyone knows I love LA,” says the star. “But London, watch out – I’m coming to town and bringing my fast-paced life with me. I’m in the UK all the time, but of course I can’t bring all my friends, so I’ve decided to look for a new BFF across the pond. I need a best friend who is hot, who can keep up with me, and most of all, who is real and won't be a backstabber. I’m not leaving London until I find that amazing girl or guy who can meet the challenges of being my British bestie!”

The hideous trailer shows Paris cavorting with a pair of ridiculous looking dogs, one of which accompanies her everywhere. This of course could be suggesting that she is looking for the human British equivalent of her little rat-dog. A little playmate for her to swan around London with until she gets bored and jettisons them like the human waste they are. The most depressing aspect of this is that there are thousands of people who want to take part in this programme, thousands of people who will humiliate themselves to try and get a tiny slice of celebrity. Thousands of people who will essentially prostitute themselves to become a hanger on of a woman whose only talent is to be famous. Here are the cream of that particularly pathetic crop.
This apparently is a time when creative and interesting programmes that don't actually cause your soul to shrivel within you are being shelved due to a lack of money. How is it then that ITV are paying this vile woman $100,000 per EPISODE?!! Surely that money could have been better used?

However, there is a glimmer of hope. The following paragraph has been posted on the show's website.
"The ambitious wannabes will share a house and will gradually be eliminated until one of them will be inaugurated as Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend."

This may mean that instead of being merely evicted, the 'wannabes' will actually be executed in a Doctor Who Bad Wolf style. (Watch it here, if you aren't familiar with the Doctor's exploits)

We can but hope....

The Hive *
Miracle on 34th Street **
Thank you for Smoking ****
Airplane *****


Richard said...

Thanks for reminding me there's a reason I don't have a TV anymore!

patroclus said...

Ooh, this made me laugh. I tend to deal with programmes like this by not becoming aware of their existence.

Fat Roland said...

That Dr Who episode looked terrible.

Tim Footman said...

You're right, I'd completely forgotten, Airplane is fucking hysterical isn't it?