Top Ten Films of 2010 Part Two: Five to One

Welcome to the second part of my review of 2010 in movie-land.  Find Part One here.   In this installment I will unveil my top five films of 2010 plus the ten worst dismissed in three words each.

5  The King's Speech
At first glance this film seems the type of Oscar-desperate snoozefest I can't stand.  Intense and wordy, packed with character actors and a main character with a disability or disfigurement.  It's the type of film that the Academy voters seem unable to ignore.  However, the film is a well crafted, well acted and genuinely uplifting tale of the reluctant king with a stammer overcoming his shortcomings with the help of Geoffrey Rush's unconventional speech therapist.

4  Scott Pilgrim vs the World
Edgar Wright's first 'Hollywood' movie was clever, inventive, fun and unique.  As a result it bombed at the cinema on both sides of the pond (let's not forget that the execrable Clash of the Titans was the 10th highest grossing film of 2010 - we should be ashamed of ourselves). However, it's insane (if imperfect) mix of stunning visuals, clever flourishes, nerd-friendly gaming references and kick-ass fight scenes should ensure it has a lasting cult appeal.  This battle of the bands fight scene between the eponymous hero and the villainous Katayanagi Twins is a work of visual genius.

3  Toy Story 3
Second best kids film for adults in 2010 or the second best grown up kids film in 2010 - I'm not sure which. Either way, Pixar carried on it's golden run with the simply wonderful Toy Story 3.  The last story of Buzz, Woody et al was funny, exciting and capable of making grown men cry (or at least get a lump in their throat).  While it doesn't scale the emotional heights of the gorgeous Up or reach the comedy plateau of The Incredibles it's still the type of movie Dreamworks wish they could make.

2  Inception
Right,  it's about dreams within dreams OK?  It's not as clever as some people said it was, but it was definitely more exacting on the brain than Clash of the Titans.  Christopher Nolan took a break from making Christian Bale gargle gravel in a cape to encourage Leonardo DiCaprio to look suitably haunted as dream thief extraordinaire Cobb.  The supporting cast were top class (including one of the final appearances by the late Pete Postlethwaite) and the special effects were spectacular.  Watch this impressive gravity defying fight scene then watch the equally impressive how-they-did-that.

1  The Secret of Kells (click here for the gorgeous trailer)
I know this choice seems willfully obscure, but it is genuinely my favourite film of 2010.  Technically it was originally released in 2009 but Secret of Kells got a limited cinema release in 2010 so it counts.  This animated adventure tells the story of a young monk called Brendan whose life changes for ever when he meets Aiden of Iona who is creating the magical Book of Kells. Set against the constant fear of Norse invasion this beautifully drawn fairy tale does not dwell on any religious material (The Book of Kells is probably the most famous illuminated Gospel in the world) and follows Brendan as he ventures from the safe walls of the abbey.  He encounters dangers but also experiences the wonder of the forest as he meets the magical sprite Aisling and battles the fearsome Crom Cruach before facing the ultimate threat as the Vikings arrive at Kells.  Directed by Tomm Moore and Nora Twomey, the film is animated in an unusual manner somewhat reminiscent of the Kells illuminations.  This is technically a kids film but tackles some dark moments (the Vikings in particular are faceless, blood-drenched shadows) while holding onto a sense of fun, wonder and delight at the world that sticks with you long after the film has ended.  It was rightfully nominated for Best Animated Feature at the 2010 Oscars and you should definitely seek out this little-seen gem for yourself.

Turkeys of the Year in 3 Words
Knight & Day - Lots of Teeth
Jonah Hex  -  Josh Hates John
Salt - Angelina Try Harder
Clash of the Titans - Giant Scorpions Suck
Burlesque - Cher Looks Old
Hot Tub Time Machine - Men Get Wet
Legion - Angels Gone Bad
Sex & The City 2 - Sand and Dresses
Skyline - All About CGI
The Wolfman - Hairy Let Down

Top Ten Films of 2010 Part One: Twelve to Six

As movies have gently taken over the majority of this blog in 2010 I have decided to eschew my customary wider-ranging annual review with a look at the ten (ish) best and ten worst movies released this year.

12 (I did say ten-ish) Centurion
Neil Marshall took a break from films set in caves or films where Sean Pertwee suffers an agonising death to tell the story of the fate of the Ninth Legion. While by no means perfect, Centurion has a good cast, impressive visuals and Marshall's customary willingness to put his characters through painful and gory demises.

11 Splice
Or the heartwarming tale of two impossibly attractive scientists who splice human and animal DNA to create a curiously androgynous MONSTER called Dren. Directed by Vincenzo Natali who gave us the first Cube movie, Splice is a thinly veiled updating of the Frankenstein myth. However, this fairly disturbing (as the film nears its conclusion there are two unpleasant and unnerving sequences involving Dren and her 'parents') and stylish sci-fi horror effectively taps into very basic human fears. What happens when our children grow up (and turn into MONSTERS) and what are those pesky scientists REALLY up to.

10 Edge of Darkness
Lets not tiptoe around the elephant in the room. Mel Gibson is a massive arse; a sexist, racist, violent arse. However, removing the arse-elephant from the room, the best thing about this rather formulaic conspiracy/revenge story is a storming central performance from Mel Gibson. Director Martin Campbell does this type of film well and the supporting cast, particularly Ray Winstone and Danny Huston do some sterling work. But it really is Gibson's film, a reminder of why he's famous in the first place.


9 Shutter Island
Leonardo DiCaprio stars in the first of his two labyrinthine explorations of the human psyche released in 2010. While Inception took the science fiction route, Shutter Island is a psychological horror as Leo descends into the madness of a high security mental asylum. Scorsese really goes to town with the visual flourishes and the supporting cast was probably the best of any film released this year.



8 Monsters
It's not really about the GIANT OCTOPUS ALIENS. Its a road movie/romance thing - with GIANT OCTOPUS ALIENS. Read my review of Monsters on the excellent Screen 150 website

7 Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
The best Christmas film of the last 5 years is a full-length prequel to director Jalmari Helander's superb short films Rare Exports Inc and Rare Exports: The Official Safety Instructions. They explore the Finnish myth of a Santa more likely to eat small children than give them presents. The shorts are definitely not for children full-stop and A Christmas Tale is certainly not suitable for young children or people who expect their Christmas films to be twee, syrupy nonsense. However, this darkly funny grown-up fairy tale is a proper festive treat - read my review on Screen 150.

6 Kick Ass
Written by Jonathan Ross' wife and the producer of Mean Machine (Vinnie Jones' prison soccer film) and Swept Away (starring Madonna - candidate for worst movie ever made), Kick Ass struggled to get studio backing. However, Matthew Vaughn wisely refused to tone down the violence of the comic book on which the film is based and financed it himself. What he delivered is a gloriously foul-mouthed and violent take on the superhero story. The fight scenes were brilliant, the villain (the ever-excellent Mark Strong) was properly villainous, Nicholas Cage wasn't rubbish and the Daily Mail were incensed.

Tune in for Part 2 where I will reveal my top five plus the ten worst films of 2010 will be dispatched in 3 withering words each.

9/10ths Full of Penguins Review of the Year 2009

As the decade with the crappest nickname since the roaring Nineteen Noughties comes to a close, I have been reflecting on the last ten years. I will be blogging some thoughts over the next few weeks, but I thought I'd kick things off with my customary review of the year.

Best Moment
Laughing so hard my sides hurt for 3 days while watching Bill Bailey live in Manchester ranks pretty high. However, sharing this glorious sunset with Heidi while on holiday in Northumbria wins the accolade.Worst Moment
My 6 year relationship with Refresh FM came to a sad and rather painful end. See my post from November for my thoughts and links to the various other posts and articles.

Best Film
In hindsight, 2009 was a good year for movies with some absolute blinders wowing my eyeholes. Watchmen and Avatar just about met expectations, Star Trek and State of Play exceeded them and The Hurt Locker and District 9 came out of left field and almost stole the show. However, there can be only one winner and that was the wonderfully eerie Let the Right One In which showed all the other vampire films released in 2009 exactly how things should be done.

Worst Film
Channing Tatum and his unfeasible face slunk into a few movies this year including the inexplicable GI Joe. However, he sunk to new depths in the utterly dreadful Fighting. A film called Fighting which is about fighting should have more actual fighting in it. It spent so long talking about fighting and setting up the bouts for the charmless Tatum that when they finally arrived the director appeared to get rather over-excited and crammed 2 minutes of badly choreographed handicam scrapping into the film.

Best TV
Battlestar Galactica finally come to an end in 2009 and still managed to be just about the best TV of the year. Although honourable mentions do go to the superbly crafted Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle and BBC's Life.

Best Album
Its a tie between Neon Horse's Haunted Horse: Songs of Love, Defiance, and Delusion and Absence by Paper Route

Best Book
Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett. It may not be the best book of the year, but it was my favourite. Pratchett is as good as ever and reading his books now comes with a slight twinge of sadness. If you missed the marvellous two-part BBC documentary where he explores possible treatments for his Alzheimers I suggest you seek it out. It's both funny and moving - very much like the man himself.

Best Penguin related story of 2009
The heartwarming tale of penguin adoption in a German Zoo. A hearty slap in the face for all those stupid fundamentalist Christians who use penguins as an example of 'wholesome' family values. They're just animals, they're not proof of anything!

Blogs of the Year
Fat Roland
Cultural Snow

Here's to more blogging in 2010...

9/10ths Full of Penguins Review of the Year 2008

I apologise for my lengthy absence. I have been pondering the purpose of this blog and took something of a furlough to consider whether I should keep going or not. I never wanted my blog to be a 'today I had my breakfast and then went to work' type-blog and felt it might have been slipping slowly that way. However, I'm now back and raring for more blogtacular action in 2009...

2008 has seen some extraordinary moments. Barack Obama's huge victory in the US presidential elections, global economic meltdown and two pensioners making jumpers out of their dead dogs' hair.


Best Moment
November 5th at the Empress Ballroom in Blackpool. I finally got to see the peerless Sigur Ros live in concert. It was simply the most extraordinary gig I've ever seen and leapt straight to the top of my all time gig list, unseating Iona at the Royal Festival Hall in May 1999.

Best Film
The year's best film was an easy choice in the end. Nothing even came close to the dazzlingly bleak Dark Knight - brilliantly written, directed and acted. However, my favourite film of the year was the marvellously entertaining Hellboy 2.

Worst Film
The Happening. For the sake of all that is holy - please lock M Night Shyamalan in dark, windowless room until he promises to stop making films this terrible. It was a film with nothing going for it at all.

Best TV
Battlestar Galactica was once again the best thing on the goggle-box in 2008. I have also discovered the wonders of the West Wing. I'm about half way through season 3 and I'm reluctant to carry on watching it as the further I go throught the seasons, the closer I am to never having a new episode of the West Wing to watch....

Worst TV

I was subjected to a few episodes of Strictly Come Dancing in 2008. I was truly astonished by the level of self-importance and vanity oozing out of most of the contestants and judges. The fact that the judges continued complaining that the public kept saving John Sergent demonstrated that they thought far too much of themselves and their dance show than the fact that they were part of a reality TV show that asks for public opinion. What they told the viewers was that they (the judges) were right and the great unwashed of the British public were incorrect because they had the temerity to disagree with them.The truly magnificent John Sergeant

Best Album
Dial M - Starflyer 59

Best Book
The Separation by Christopher Priest - a pleasingly complex and intriguing book of alternative fiction.

Best Penguin related story of 2008
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Do people need rescuing? Nah - its just two inflatable penguins. Read all about it here

Blogs of the Year
Here are my 3 favourite blogs of the year in no particular order.
Fat Roland
Quinquireme
Cultural Snow

On a personal level, I decided to follow the example of a good friend and start trying to lose weight. In the last 5 or 6 weeks of 2008 I lost over a stone in weight and have set myself the goal of losing enough weight to start playing cricket properly again before the end of 2009.

In 2008 I also rediscovered an old friendship that has blossomed into somewhat more over the course of the year which has made me very happy.

2007

Around this time last year, I subjected the t'interweb to my 2006 review of the year. In the interests of symmetry (I like that word so much, I'd like you to read more about it here), I thought I should do something similar for 2007.

Best Moment
2007 has been a surprisingly good year so there have been many moments to choose from. Completing my PGCE and getting a job in a school and my radio shows on Refresh FM at Easter were both great. However, the winner is this year's Greenbelt festival. This year's festival was probably the best I've been to. The weather was magnificent, the atmosphere was amazing and I had a great time working for the festival radio station Greenbelt FM. The single best moment (in a pure ego trip stylee) was taking part in a live radio show at the YMCA venue whereby myself and radio partner in crime Fat Roland were given license to unleash our Theatre of Noise games Chainsaw Challenge and Sackcloth & Bashes on an unsuspecting Greenbelt. Much hilarity and destruction ensued.

Best Film
There was some great movies this year - some very worthy, some guilty pleasures. In the end, the brilliance and sheer rewatchability of Hot Fuzz gets my vote. Honourable mentions also go to the beautifully shot Sunshine, the fascinating Zodiac, the thrilling Bourne Ultimatum, the brutal 28 Weeks Later and the frankly bonkers Daywatch.

Worst Film
The excreble Spiderman 3. Read my thoughts at the time here.

Best TV
Top Gear & Spooks became unmissable TV for me this year. Top Gear made me laugh like a drain - even though I can't stand Jeremy Clarkson. Spooks was a thrillingly entertaining and slick creation. This year's Dr Who series was a bit hit and miss. When it was wrong (human daleks? come on) it was pretty poor, but when it was right it was glorious (Weeping Angels? Even I found them rather unnerving).

Worst TV
The moment it was announced that Catherine Am-I-Bovvered Tate would be in the whole of the next Dr Who series.

Best Album
Mae - Singularity

Best Book
Even though it was written in 1954, I have only just read it this year. Richard Matheson's I Am Legend is brilliant. Forget the Will Smith film, the book is much darker, much bleaker and much more unnerving. I also liked 2004's The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón, mainly due to the sparkling dialogue between Daniel and Fermin, which is a joy to read.

Best Penguin related story of 2007
This marvellous story about Roxy the Rockhopper penguin who turned to the t'interweb to find love. Read it here.

Blogs of the Year
Here are my five favourite blogs of the year in no particular order with links to their latest posts.
Fat Roland - the surreal ramblings of a proper gentleman.
Quinquireme - The erudite Patroclus was considering laying her blog to rest. The t'interweb breathed a sigh of relief when she was convinced otherwise.
Postsecret - PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It can be funny, disturbing, uplifting and sometimes heartbreaking.
The Manchizzle - an essential Manchester blogging hub....
Cultural Snow - A blog that wears its brain openly on its sleeve.

Also worth a mention are Midnight Candle & Blue Cat.

Here's to 2008 - Happy New Year!

The 9/10ths Full of Penguins Review of the Year

It seems to me that just about everything and everyone is doing their 'review of the year' or their 'annual awards' at the moment. I felt that I may as well jump on the bandwagon and bore you with my best and worst things of the year.

Worst Moment

2006 has been a difficult year for me. It didn't start very well as I separated from my wife in January. This led to me having to reassess my whole life; where I was going, what I was doing, even to a certain extent who I was. It was a hugely painful time and in some ways I still miss her. However, our decision was mutual and both of us are much happier apart than we were together, although that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.

Best Moment

One of the things that arose from the situation above was a reconsidering of my career choices. I decided to apply for teacher training, got accepted and started my PGCE course in September. Its not easy, but I love teaching and so far have done very well. My best moment was a very simple thing. I was sitting at the staffroom work-table in my placement school writing up lesson plans and unbeknowst to myself I was humming. A teacher walked past and said that I sounded very chirpy for a man doing his paperwork. Without really thinking about it, I replied that it was because I was happy. On reflection I realised that I was indeed very happy with my life at the moment, which has made me understand that sometimes good things can come out of a difficult time.

Best TV

Probably the best TV series I've seen this year has been the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica. It may seem geeky, but the Guardian recently crowned it the year's best contemporary political drama, which is in no way a joke. I've watched the whole of the first 2 seasons and am currently part way through the latest series. It is one of the darkest TV programmes I have ever seen, the last remnants of the human race battle for survival amid political corruption, military coups, terrorism, torture, suicide bombers and plans for genocide. Good sci-fi always reflects the present and if any fiction programme highlights the cost of US & UK foreign policy round the world this year better than Battlestar, I have yet to see it.

Honourable mentions also go to Planet Earth, Spooks, Top Gear, Torchwood & American Dad.

Dishonourable mentions go to the re-imagined Robin Hood, all the 'reality' shows (on principle, I luckily avoided watching any of them), ITV in general.

Best Film

Good Night & Good Luck

Also: Children of Men, Severance, United 93, The Departed

Worst Film

Crank

Also: World Trade Center

Best Book

Terry Pratchett - Thud!

I know its not highbrow, but it was the book I read this year that I loved the most. For something more intelligent, I read Ann Wroe's book on Pontius Pilate.

Best Album

Vices - Dead Poetic

Also: Muse - Black Holes & Revelations

Best News Story

A late entry, this great story. " I'm the Bishop of Southwark, its what I do" Genius!

Best Penguin Related Incident

Piglet the Stolen Penguin

Ah Bless

Worst Penguin Related Incident

The continuing hijacking of the noble penguin by the Christian Right in America for political/religious propaganda with the dull as dishwater March of the Penguins. Penguins are not a Christian allegory, they are birds, they do not have morals! If you really must bring God into it, use them as just one more example of how wondrous this gift of our planet is. They are not a heartwarming model for life showcasing the moral high ground! Honestly....

Sorry, got carried away. Anyway, that was my 2006, roll on 2007....

Merry Christmas!